Searching for positivity

I once said some people get their happiness and satisfaction from seeing others do well. I have been very happy to see my friends and family members improve their lives through better jobs and excellent results at university. The sadness only comes when I look at my own life and try to think of my own achievements.

I have taken some risks in life (like leaving my career in I.T. and living in Japan for 4 years), and I am still paying for taking that risk. I feel like I haven’t seen any benefit from it, but my Dad says that I haven’t seen any benefit YET. Ha ha ha! He keeps adding “yet” to all my negative comments! 😀

I went to see my parents this weekend, and had lots of uplifting conversations with them. They see progress in my life, but they always encourage me to work even harder. I plan to do so, and have decided to immerse myself into my career.

I have spent a lot of time trying to improve my hobbies (creative writing, photography, and drawing) but they are going to have to take a back-seat for now. I’m also going to have to spend more time indoors. And yes, this  also means I will be spending less time chatting to friends on Facebook. I will, however, continue to play football on Wednesdays and Sundays. Will I ever say no to football?? HELL NO!!! 🙂

I am a network engineer but there is still so much I need to learn before I can call myself a networking “expert”. I have some software and networking equipment at my home; I am sure I can use them to improve my skills (and more importantly, my confidence).

I am giving myself a month from now to thoroughly learn the ins and outs of using switches and routers. I will back here in a month to give an update on my progress.

There are lots of little reasons why I should feel happy and positive (I am still alive, for starters!), but at the moment, the reasons feel like molecules of oxygen. I KNOW they are out there, but no matter how hard I try, I just can’t find them.


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